Stop Yelling.

Notice how there is no "!" after the "Yelling" in my title? that's because i wasn't yelling.  I believe there are only 3 reason you should ever need to yell. The three reason would be Physical, Emotional and Alert.

1. Hitting your finger instead of the nail.(Ouch!)
2. Your sports team just kick the winning goal! (Go pies)
3. Attract attention to a dangerous situation or distress. (stuck down a well)

Well the first one is an obvious one. There you are happily working away when BAM! the hammer comes right down on your big thumb! So up you jump yelling and running around the house with the occasional thumb in mouth to try and sooth it. We yell as an instantaneous reaction that humans have been doing ever since the first cave man ran over his mate's foot with the new wheel he invented, but do we really need to do it? So i have just hit my finger, i'm in the privacy of my own home yep i'm a yelling, but had i have been at my customer's house working in their garage things would have been different. Firstly I would not have wanted to alert them that I had just hit my finger as I would look somewhat unprofessional screaming and carrying on on front of them. Secondly I start thinking more rationally, you see I now need to make the pain go away as quick as possible so I can get on with my work and finish the job. So i start thinking...  wrapping it in a cold wet cloth, having a coffee break or just walk back to the car to buy a little time. As we know so long as the finger has not been mashed beyond recognition a little time is all that is needed to diminish  the pain. And I would have done all this without yelling once.  The problem of hitting your finger at home is that here most of us would want compassion from our family even though when they ask "you ok what can I do for you???" you keep insisting "No! i'm ok i'm ok!". Next time something like this happens to you and you around your family try making out that you are at someone else's house see how you would feel.

"Goal!.. and the pies have one the match!!" I believe this type of yelling is great! it give you the opportunity to let go and join the crowed. You feel great full of emotions, and adrenaline running through your body like water. This is also true if your team is loosing BUT you can not let it get ugly. You see when you are the loosing side and start hurling abuse at the other team or supporters well then you have fallen of and become the idiot in the crowed. On the other hand if your team is loosing and you start yelling out encouraging comments to your  players and maybe the supporters well now you are seen as the dedicated, enthusiastic "good sport" supporter and there is nothing wrong with that. You see when this method is applied you still get to feel the exact same adrenaline,emotion, the feeling of letting go and as a special bonus for being a good sport a supporter from the other team may even give you words of encouragement for your team's game next week. 

Like the first reason the third is obvious. You have just taken your 3 year old daughter to the Huge Mall on a busy Friday afternoon for a quick bit of last minute shopping. You turned around for "Just a Minute!" and just like that she is gone. "SARAH! SARAH! WHERE ARE YOU SARAH!" you drop what ever was in your hands and start running around like a lunatic. "SARAH! SARAH!!" you keep yelling and running around. Well at this point you certainly have got the shoppers attention, but in your panic you find it hard to breath in could in fact faint and pass out. What chance would you then have of finding her? Cool head will prevail as you could ask the security to announce on a missing child on the pa system, you could give a description of what she was wearing and how old she is. I know it's an absolutely horrific experience for anyone to go through and a few yells at the beginning of your search will not harm but you must gain control of the situation as quickly as possible as time is of the essence in these situation and if you are yelling and running around the place you will not think rational thoughts but bad thoughts which in turn will make you want to yell louder.

I am not a psychiatrist nor am i a doctor of any means but I do have real world experiences and have come to an understanding that yelling is not required (except when at the game!) I find that when I have dealt with a situation where yelling is inevitable and managed to resolve it without yelling the feeling is 10x greater than when resolved with yelling.

I have read a lot of books in regards to this subject and taken a lot from them. I hope to pass them on as I deal with things from day to day I will be posting me real life experiences and how I dealt with them.

I would love to hear from anyone out there who is finding difficulties in dealing with yelling or who has some tips ON dealing with it.

Regards and bye for now

chumio.